


The Art of Guarding a Genius

by InTheShadows



Series: StarkBucks Bingo 2020 Fills [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bodyguard Bucky Barnes, Bodyguard Rhodey Rhodes, Bored Tony Stark, Developing Relationship, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Grumpy Bucky Barnes, Ironhusbands Bingo 2020, Legos, Nicknames, Safehouses, StarkBucks Bingo 2020, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark being Tony Stark, play-doh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: Tony is bored. Tony isso boredand there is nothing to do in this stupid safe house except ignore his stupid bodyguards. He didn't want bodyguards to begin with, but did anyone listen to him? No. One little assassination attempt and they all freaked out and stuffed him here. Please. Just another day in the life of. But now he's here and he's bored and his not-so-stupid bodyguards are the only people who he has to interact with until this is over. Good thing they eventually hit on a way to keep him occupied.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark
Series: StarkBucks Bingo 2020 Fills [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070447
Comments: 5
Kudos: 88
Collections: Ironhusbands Bingo 2020, StarkBucksBingo2020





	The Art of Guarding a Genius

**Author's Note:**

> For my IronHusbands Bingo 2020, G1/pet names
> 
> Title: The Art of Guarding a Genius  
> Collaborator Name: InTheShadows  
> Link: [The Art of Guarding a Genius](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534068)  
> Square Filled: I2/safe house  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Tony Stark & Bucky Barnes & Rhodey Rhodes  
> Rating: G  
> Major Tags & Triggers: Bodyguards Bucky & Rhodey, Tony being Tony, implied Howard Stark's A+ Parenting  
> Summary: Tony is bored. Tony is _so bored_ and there is nothing to do in this stupid safe house except ignore his stupid bodyguards. He didn't want bodyguards to begin with, but did anyone listen to him? No. One little assassination attempt and they all freaked out and stuffed him here. Please. Just another day in the life of. But now he's here and he's bored and his not-so-stupid bodyguards are the only people who he has to interact with until this is over. Good thing they eventually hit on a way to keep him occupied.  
> Word Count: 2,618

Bounce. Thud. Catch.

Bounce. Thud. Catch.

Bounce. Thud. Catch.

Bounce. Thud - “Hey!” Tony shouts as the ball is taken away from him before he can catch it. He looks over to see Kane frowning at him. “Give it back,” he demands. He is not pouting, no matter what the other two might say about his expression. What do they know? 

“Find something else to do,” he orders. 

“But I’m bored,” he whines. Now this is definitely a whine and he knows it, but he can’t help it. He’s  _ bored _ . He is so desperately bored, his brain is driving him nuts and there is  _ nothing to do _ . There is only so much tv he can stand, all of his notebooks are filled to the brim, he’s finished all the word search and sudoku books in the place.  _ He’s. So. Desperately. Bored. _

“Go find something else,” he orders again. 

Fine then. He gets up with a huff. “Honey bear,” he complains, wandering into the kitchen where Rhodey currently is, “Terminator is being mean to me.” 

Rhodey also huffs in annoyance. “You’ve been at that for an hour now,” he says reasonably as if that justifies his actions in any way. It doesn’t. Still mean. 

“So?” Tony flops into a chair across from him. “Entertain me.” 

“I am your bodyguard, not your babysitter. Entertain yourself.” 

Tony shrugs. “Same thing right now, isn’t it?” He had been against the idea of bodyguards to begin with. He had  _ really _ been against the idea of bodyguards when he started getting death threats - because honestly, these aren’t the first so why is everyone freaking out now? He’s a Stark, it comes with the territory, along with the occasional kidnapping. He’s always gotten himself out. It’s fine. 

He had been  _ absolutely _ against the idea of bodyguards when those threats turned into an assassination attempt and everyone decided to stick him in this safe house until they could find and eliminate the threat. Whatever. They hadn’t been  _ that _ close to succeeding. He’s fine. He’s too stubborn to die on anyone else’s terms but his own. Very deliberately he ignores the lingering ache in his entire torso as he thinks this. 

But everyone was beyond listening to Tony at that point, so he had gotten not one, but two bodyguards and shoved into this house until further notice. No cable. No internet. No phone. All he has are the things they brought with them to entertain themselves. Tony has already used up all of his things, which leaves him with cards, checkers, chess or another dvd binge. The dvds sound positively mind melting, he hates solitaire and everything else needs more than one person to play. Since neither of the other two are interested in humouring him as such, he is reduced to this. 

“Sour patch,” he continues to whine. 

Rhodey ignores him. 

He takes this time to study him. Again. Study the smooth, dark skin. The graceful way he moves. The strong, steady hands. The crinkles around his eyes when he concentrates or smiles or laughs. Not that the latter two have ever been directed at Tony. Oh no. That is reserved for Kane. Tony seems to do nothing but annoy him. Both of them. Kane especially, when he calls him just that. But like hell Tony is going to call him by his so called real name. What kind of name is  _ Bucky _ anyways? No thank you. It is just another nickname and there are so many better nicknames out there then  _ that _ . 

“Stop being creepy,” Rhodey says without looking up. 

Whatever. Instead he turns around so that he can stare at Kane instead. He is just as beautiful as Rhodey is, in the complete opposite way. Smooth, pale skin. Long, dark hair instead of short. Pretty, cool grey eyes instead of a deep, warm brown. They are both just as graceful, but Kane is the more muscular of the two. Always alert, always tense until Rhodey says something to make him laugh. 

They’re both gorgeous and funny and - ugh. 

Gods above, why is he so cursed? To make matters even worse, he’s starting to  _ like _ them. Actually like them and not just tolerate them. It’s probably the enforced closeness, but he is. The opposite is not true, however. Tony is sure they are both regretting taking this job already. It’s not as if Tony’s affection makes him any less annoying. 

“Stop being creepy,” Kane repeats. 

“What are you two, a broken record?” 

“Could ask you the same thing.” 

Tony slumps down into the chair. Restlessly he begins tapping his fingers against the table. There is nothing to do, he has no outlet for all this energy building inside of him, his brain won’t stop, always going and going, spinning too fast for anyone but himself to keep up. It is enough to want to itch the skin from his bones. His other hand comes up to tug at his hair, but it’s no use. It doesn’t work. 

“Oh for the love of -” 

Only vaguely does he hear Kane sigh, get up and stomp off to someplace else. He startles when a box is slammed down in front of him. 

“There,” Kane growls, “play with that for a while.” 

Tony blinks at it. “What is it?” 

“What does it read on the box genius?” 

“Play-doh, but,” he opens the box to peer in. Inside are more, smaller plastic containers. Cautiously he takes one out and opens the lid. The most interesting smell hits him and he pulls it closer to sniff at it. Whatever it is, it’s the same color as the lid. 

“You don’t eat it, you play with it,” Kane grumbles, “Should have known you’d be one of the kids to try it anyways.” He stomps off again, obviously feeling as if his job is done.

Tony pokes at it and finds that it’s soft. Scooping some out he rolls it into a ball and then squishes it flat. Huh. Interesting. He dumps the rest of the containers out onto the table. All of them are the same color as the lid. All of them are the same, soft, interesting smelling material. He has no idea how to describe it, but it’s rather nice. 

Hmm, just what can he do with this? 

“Don’t leave the lids open, you’ll dry it out,” Rhodey says. 

Tony hums and closes all of them except for the one he is using. That he empties and begins to fiddle with. This - this is actually fun. Cautiously and then with growing enthusiasm he begins to build. It’s not the best material available, but it’s a challenge and frankly he loves the way it feels in his hands. A smile starts to form on his face. 

He looks up to see Rhodey staring at him. “What?” he asks defensively, pulling the play-doh towards him. Protecting it as if he is some little kid, protecting  _ his _ toy. Abruptly he realizes just how childish he must look and flushes. 

“Have you never played with this stuff before? It’s practically childhood man.” 

Tony looks down, cheeks burning. “I was building circuit boards when I was four. I didn’t have time to waste on useless stuff like this.” 

“What? Too good for the prodigy or something?” 

That’s it. Tony pushes himself away from the table and forces himself to walk away, project half done. Let it dry out for all he cares. Play-doh is for little kids. Babies. He has been past baby toys when he was  _ three _ and ready to learn. He is a genius, he needs to act like it. He goes off to the other room, away from his bodyguards and their childish, useless toys. 

There is still play-doh under his nails. He resists the urge to pick it out and play with it. No. He  _ is _ better than this. He should thank Rhodey for the reminder. He faces the wall, doing his best to ignore everything around him. 

“Hey,” Rhodey comes over behind him, “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Tony can feel his eyes burn. He bites his tongue to distract himself. “I’m so sure,” he snorts, “Doesn’t matter, it’s true. Can’t have the genius kid waste his time on shit like that. He should be productive, learning. Stark Industries, bombs, are my future, not -  _ that _ ,” he spits the word to encompass, well, everything he had never been allowed to do as a child. His father’s - Howard’s - words ring in his ear even now. He is a Stark. He needs to shut up and start acting like one and not a spoiled brat. 

“Damn rich people,” Kane grumbles from the other room. 

Tony fights the urge to flinch. 

“Not helping,” Rhodey calls. 

“I meant the kid's parents, not him.” 

“I am not a kid!” Tony protests. He is nineteen and has a master’s degree in engineering and his associate's in business. He will be starting his PhD once all of this is over. He is  _ not _ a kid. He can take care of himself. “And leave my mother out of this. She is a wonderful person and better than you’ll ever hope to be.” Because his mother is  _ a saint _ and no one can tell him differently. 

“Your father then,” he corrects without argument. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Seemed like an asshole when he hired us.” 

“Barnes,” Rhodey sighs, tired. 

“What?” Kane asks, “Kid never said anything about his old man, did he?” 

“ _ I am not a kid _ .” Although these days it certainly doesn’t feel like it, with no one listening to him. They might as well pat him on the head and give him a sucker to shut him up. Or tell him to go play with his toys while the grown ups talk about more important things. 

Tony can’t argue with him though. Howard  _ is _ an asshole. Good to know that while they may not like Tony, they clearly like Howard just as much. Normally it’s just Tony that people hate. Howard can be pretty smooth, charming even, when he wants to be. Tony doesn’t bother. What’s the point?

“Professionalism,” Rhodey answers. 

Tony shrugs. “Don’t bother. I know what he’s like.” He looks over his shoulder to see Rhodey frowning in disapproval. What a surprise. 

“Told you Stark was a class A act.” Kane comes over to join them now. “Knew it as soon as I saw the man. I told you didn’t I?” 

Rhodey sighs. “I don’t know why you keep arguing this. It’s not like I disagreed with you, but it’s not  _ him _ we’re guarding is it?” 

“Thank fuck. Old man can get someone else to guard his ass. I ain’t doing it for nothing. No amount of money big enough for that. Sorry,” he adds to Tony, as if he thinks this might finally be taking it too far.

Tony shrugs again. “Truth,” he agrees. 

Rhodey and Kane share a look. “We need more groceries,” Rhodey announces then, “You need to go get them.” 

“Why me?” Kane complains. 

“Because people will panic if they see me in a hoodie. You’ll just be another punk. Deal with it.” 

Kane rolls his eyes, but sighs. “Fine. Give me the list.” 

“One second.” Rhodey jumps up to presumably go give it to him. “Here,” he says from the other room, “Call me if there’s any sign of trouble.” Because  _ they _ are allowed cell phones. Shitty burner phones that still have  _ buttons _ and not a touch screen, but cell phones nonetheless. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Kane waves off and leaves. 

“Come on,” Rhodey says, “let's go back to the play-doh. I want to see what you’ll make.” 

Tony eyes him carefully, but can see no patriotism in his expression, only curiosity. As if he really cares about Tony’s stupid scuplture. Whatever. It’s still something to do. He’s still bored after all. 

Rhdoey manages to coax him into playing with the stuff longer than he should. It is rather addicting once he stops being so self conscious about it. There’s something deeply satisfying about building something and then smashing it back down again. 

“Honey, I’m home,” Kane calls when he comes back, “Now come help me carry all this shit you made me buy.” 

“As charming as ever,” Rhodey gets up with a sigh and goes to help. “How much did you buy?” he asks from the other room. 

“There was a sale. None of it’s in sets, but I figured that shouldn’t matter. Enough here to do whatever you want with it.” 

Rhodey comes back into the kitchen carrying only a few bags. That doesn’t seem like a lot. “Put that stuff away and come here real quick.” He is grinning. 

Tony shrugs and obeys. Why not? Cautiously he slips a container into his pocket. Just in case. In the living room he is greeted by a proud looking Kane and three big boxes. “What?” 

“Open them up and see for yourself.” 

Wow does he sound proud too. 

When he does, he can see that the box is filled to the brim with legos. All three of them are. He turns his confused gaze to Kane. 

“Legos are an essential part of childhood too. Figured this should be enough to keep you from getting bored for a while. Although,” he adds, “if you leave these out for me to step on, I’m coming after you. Got it?” 

Tony flashes him a brilliant smile, barely registering the threat. “Candy Cane, you  _ do _ love me.” 

Kane rolls his eyes. “It was Rhodes' idea.” He looks pleased though, almost blushing, at that. “And do you have to call me that name?” he adds.

“Please,” Tony scoffs, “As if I am going to call you  _ Bucky _ . Sounds like some kind of contagious disease. And if you can get Bucky from Buchanan then you can certainly get Kane. You just aren’t being created enough.” 

“Creative enough,” Bucky deadpans, “Is that what they’re calling it now? And here I thought it was called being a little shit.” He puts his hands on his hips, doing his best to look as unimpressed as possible.

Tony isn’t phased in the least. He’s had  _ so much _ worse. “Please pumpkin,” he dismisses with a flick of his fingers before going back to examine the legos, “The day I don’t use nicknames is the day I’m dead.” He learned it honest, at least. Had to pick it up from somewhere didn’t he? 

“Pumpkin?” Bucky’s expression does something - interesting. 

“Well you just seem so jealous of honey bears' name. I’d hate for you to be left out. Or do you prefer buttercup instead?” 

“You’re a menace Stark,” Bucky points and then stomps out of the room. 

Rhodey sighs, muttering something under his breath that Tony can’t quite catch. 

“What was that platypus?” 

“Menace,” he says in agreement. 

Tony continues to smile in exaggerated pleasure. “You both say the nicest things. Really warms my heart.”

Rhodey just shakes his head. “Okay genius, let’s see what you can make.” 

Tony wiggles his fingers over the box. “Time to make some magic.” He looks up as Kane stomps back into the room. 

“Someone has to supervise you two,” he says as if that is an answer that at all makes sense. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Barnes,” Rhodey says. 

Kane leers. 

“Don’t. Even.” 

“Sounds like a challenge to me, doesn’t it doll?” 

At first Tony doesn’t realize he is talking to him. When he does he positively  _ beams _ . “Absolutely,” he agrees, “Really sweet pea, haven’t you learned not to challenge a Stark by now?” 

Rhodey groans. “I hate you. Both of you. So much.” 

Kane just laughs at him.

“You love me,” Tony corrects. One thing is for sure, at least he isn’t bored anymore. 


End file.
